By Joseph Akim Gordon
Conflict is defined as an incompatibility of goals or values between two or more parties in a relationship, combined with attempts to control each other and antagonistic feelings towards each other. When human beings come together, there is bound to be conflict. This is because human beings have different backgrounds, interests, and world views. These lead to differences of opinion. These differences in opinion could sometimes degenerate into aggression and violence. This conflict, which may be first noticed at the individual level, may eventually spread to the larger society. It is important to note that, as peace and cooperation are desirable, conflict too could be progressive when not allowed to become destructive; however, when it does get out of hand, it becomes destructive. The positive in conflict is that it brinks to open the root causes of conflict and enable group or institution to seek resolution of the problems in many cases it is expensive and time consuming it results to reconciliation and forgiveness and finally to peaceful coexistence, it is the conflict that resulted to total peace so although conflict is bad but in some cases exposes the root causes of conflict and thereby solution is found. It must be noted that in this world, you do not have a permanent friend or permanent enemy; the situation changes in accordance with a given circumstance.
The nature of conflict is natural, inevitable, necessary, and normal, and the problem is not the existence of conflict but how we can handle it. Thus, conflict occurs between people in all kinds of human relationships and in all social settings. Because of the wide range of potential differences among people, the absence of conflict usually signals the absence of meaningful interaction. Conflict by itself is neither good nor bad. Conflict involves an emotional reaction to a situation or interaction that signals a disagreement of some kind. The emotions felt might be fear, sadness, bitterness, anger, or hopelessness, or all of these factors put together.
We must always aim for peacebuilding, which means dealing with the reasons why people fight in the first place and supporting societies to manage their differences and conflict without resorting to violence. We must aim to prevent the outbreak, escalation, continuation, and reoccurrence of violence, which can take place before, during, and after conflicts. The end result of peace is a long-term and collaborative process as it involves change in attitudes, behaviors, and norms.
Peace prevails in our setting when everyone lives in safety, without fear or threat of violence or intimidation, when everybody is equal before the law, when the systems of justice support the rich, the poor, the disabled, male or female, and the highly placed personalities, when everyone is able to participate in shaping the political environment, and when every individual has fair access to the basic needs for their well-being such as food, water, shelter, and education.
Communication is a leading factor and an important source of conflict; ineffective communication, miscommunication, and misunderstanding can create conflict even when there is no catalyst for conflict. In addition, the parties to a conflict may have different perceptions as to the facts of the situation until they share information and clarify their perceptions.
Personality conflict refers to a very strong divergence in motives, values, or styles in dealing with people who are not approachable. When they have a high need for power and both need to be dominant in the use of relationships, there is no way for both to be satisfied, as such a power struggle will continue causing suffering to the population. But the common tactics are the exaggerated use of rewards and punishments, deception, and evasion.
Conflict triggers strong emotions and can lead to hurt feelings, disappointment, and discomfort. When handled in an unhealthy manner, it can cause irreparable rifts, resentments, and breakups. But when conflict is resolved in a healthy way, it increases our understanding of one another, builds trust, and strengthens our relationship bonds. The ability to successfully resolve conflict depends on your ability to manage stress quickly while remaining alert and calm. By staying calm, you can accurately read and interpret verbal and nonverbal communication. Control your emotions and behavior. When you control your emotions, you can communicate your needs without threatening, frightening, or punishing others. You must pay attention to the feelings being expressed as well as the spoken words of others. By being aware of and respectful of differences and avoiding disrespectful words and actions, you can almost always resolve a problem faster. To successfully resolve a conflict, you need to learn and practice two core skills: the ability to quickly reduce stress in the moment and the ability to remain comfortable enough with your emotions to react in constructive ways even in the midst of an argument or perceived attack.
Let us resolve our problems in a peaceful manner and be able to contribute to socio-economic development. Most problems are caused by a lack of development, and all our energies are wasted in conflict. As such, let us change our behavior, attitudes, and norms to focus our attention on improved livelihoods.