By Ustaz Mark Bang
Success isn’t about getting it right the first time. Getting it right the first time is luck, happenstance. It’s a coincidence we enjoy.
If we remember that win, that time we got it right, then we might be able to reproduce our early success. But maybe not.
When we succeed easily, we often misattribute the causes of our success. We wind up adhering to pointless superstitions or working harder than we need to for that second and third win because we assume extraneous elements are essential.
Even when we do learn correctly, when we attribute the right causes to the desired effects, easy lessons are quickly forgotten. There’s little emotional weight, little neurotic rumination surrounding successes. Failures, by contrast, are memorable.
Success is what happens when we correctly discern what it takes to get what we want (again) and then do it. Faltering and learning from failures is often the best way to reach that goal.
When we learn what isn’t essential, when we learn what doesn’t do it, we can hone in on what works much more efficiently, ultimately allowing for much more impressive results. Failure, not accidental success and not happy coincidence, makes that deduction, that derivation of the efficient and effective path, possible.
Often, we can’t even do that. Inability to understand what aspects were necessary can lead directly to later failure. Achieving success after experiencing failure often involves several key steps:
Reflection: Understanding what went wrong is crucial. Analyze the reasons for the failure to identify lessons learned.
Resilience: Developing a mindset that views failure as a learning opportunity rather than a setback can help maintain motivation. Goal Setting: Setting clear, achievable goals can provide direction and focus for your efforts moving forward.
Adaptation: Being willing to change your approach based on past experiences is important. This may involve trying new strategies or seeking feedback.
Persistence: Continuing to work towards your goals despite setbacks is often what separates successful individuals from those who give up.
Support Network: Surrounding yourself with supportive people who can offer guidance, encouragement, and different perspectives can be invaluable.
Action: Taking concrete steps, even small ones, towards your goals can help build momentum and confidence.
Success often comes from a combination of learning from failures, maintaining a positive attitude, and being willing to adapt and persevere. Nothing that doesn’t kill you or make your brain go dead is a failure. You still have all your potential and your time to get back on your feet.
Something I have realized lately is that failure is a part of your success; it’s never the opposite of the same, but success, on the other hand, is definitely the enemy of failure.
I know a guy who was having the ultimate life that he wanted. Didn’t include much, but he was most satisfied with the job he got right after graduation: bike, house, family time.
Everything was so much in favor of him. Like everything didn’t last long. Lost his job, fought with the love of his life, was depressed, and took random tablets at once trying to commit suicide. It was like in a week or so the change was so drastic. From a satisfied guy to the saddest guy, who is in depression and decided to kill himself. He almost taught everyone two lessons:
Nothing is permanent. Life being sweet to you all the time is not really good. Failure makes you strong and hard like never before. Let’s take another person who had a very hard time during his teen years and worked really hard to get his tummy full.
got an opportunity; he went abroad for the same labor job but for higher pay. He grabbed every opportunity he could to prove he was a hard worker. Made a good amount and decided to get back. It was the time when we had our industrial centre growing up.
He didn’t leave the opportunity; he got himself a contract with the companies. He gradually started tasting success with his business and was earning a lot. He became popular around but he wasn’t the same guy he used to be before. Success did teach him wrong.
He became very money-minded and arrogant and lost his friends forever with his behavior. I believe in the saying, “Don’t let failures reach your heart and success reach your head.” Both have some very disturbing results.
Just from my own personal experiences, I have never experienced complete failure. I have gone out of business a few times, filed for bankruptcy once, started a few businesses, and then sold them at a loss. I can chalk all of these up as failures but not complete failures.
In each of these ventures, I did some things right but a lot of things wrong. Each time I failed, I did fewer things wrong than the time before. As an entrepreneur, your job is to figure out what works and what doesn’t. When you fail, take away the good things from it and improve on them. Also, meditate on the things you did wrong and figure out what things should have been done instead.
Very, very few people are lucky enough to get it right the first time and in most cases go on to fail later. Failure is a part of life. It’s how we learn as children not to touch a hot stove.
Accumulate the successes within your failures and carry them with you. Identify the fails within each failure and make the needed adjustments and move on. If you keep doing this, eventually you will have more things going right than going wrong, and you will then have an overall success on your hands.
On a personal note, I must admit that I have never been a gracious loser. Whether it be sports or video games, or just plain card games with family at home, I’ve always taken defeat to heart and have treated all the outcomes other than the ones I desire as ‘failure.’ Until very recently, I realized I’ve always blamed the result on external factors.
Weirdly, deflecting the responsibility for things not working out on factors out of my control provided me with a sense of emotional consolation and relief. It felt like getting closure after a rough breakup. But in the last 2 years in my college, I left 6 years back; I realized that this was not the best way to go about it. This realization didn’t dawn on me in a single day, or at a single moment, but rather through a gradual process spanning months.
I still vividly remember reaching home utterly disgusted after my final interview at Brilliant High School for an analyst position in my final year of undergraduate studies back in Nov 2019. I wasn’t dejected, or sorry; I was just plain angry. I didn’t think my case interview could have gone any better, nor did I recall making any glaring errors in answering all the HR questions. But somehow I didn’t make the cut. I blamed it on everything and anything I could lay my thoughts on. I even hypothesized the interviewer was not having a good day and channelled his frustration by rejecting my application. A month later, I found myself sitting in the final case interview round at Juba Seventh-Day Adventist Secondary School (JASS) for their analyst position. And the same thing happened.
The only difference was my hypothesis for rejection. “Ah, they probably only seriously considered people with core coding technical skills, even though it doesn’t make sense,” I rented out to my friend over dinner that night. “Public Staunchest Ally”.
The writer of this article is a human rights activist, writer, and professional teacher.