I would be loved by everyone. Everyone, when defecating, has a glance at his/her stool, whether during defecation or after it.
It is common among people who go for open defecation. A woman to fall in love only counts the number of looks. If you look at a woman twice, you will get disturbed and think about you. You cannot have a look at someone you don’t love. It is love that makes you steal some looks at someone or something. Everyone must have to check his/her stool.
I would be obeyed by all. If a stool gives a command, no one ever says no. Its command is carried out by even the most feared kings. A president maybe conducting a very important meeting, but if the stool commands, he/she must go and do as commanded. Two lovers maybe making love even when one is on the top of the other, but when stool commands one of them, especially the man, he must leave and do as commanded. Stool speaks a simple language, but it is heard by every ear. Its commands are taken as soon it commands. They are not dodged. They are not procrastinated. They are not rejected. They are not ignored. They are just obeyed.
I would exit whenever I want. If stool says, it exits, it exits. Whether you like it or not, stool must exit if it decides to. You cannot close the exit gate to stop it from going out. It does not take any permission to exit. It is just obvious that it must exit. It knows its very time to exit. There are times one has to exit. You must not seek permission first from others to exit. It is just obvious that you have to exit. I would just exit.
I would never miss my way out. A stool knows that it must only get out through the anus. There is never a time when stool gets out through the mouth though the mouth is an opening like the anus. Even surgery does not bring the stool out otherwise the surgeon messes up the intestines. The stool has just mastered that only direction. There is no any other right direction it knows than the anus. The language that says, “If one door closes, another door opens,” does not work with stool. Though the anus closes, it will never decide to go out through the mouth.
There is only one right direction in life. There is only one truth in life. I would get out the just way. I would get out the clean way. I would get out the true way. I would get out the safer way. I would get out the honest way. I would get out the pure way. I would get out the fair way. And I would get out the transparent way.
I would expose the pretenders! There was a certain lady. The lady was newly married. They were travelling by a boat. The journey was a week journey. In her culture, a new married woman shies to tell her husband that she would like to go for defecation. It is worst with travelling by boat. Everyone defecates on the eyes of everyone. She decided to stay without defecating. The worst was that she continued eating. She thought she would command the stool to hold on. Impossible! The stool commanded. She tried to dictate the command. But she could not dictate anymore. The stool came out by force. She defecated on herself. The worst followed! Flies started to visit her. Smell started travelling to the neighbours. The woman wished that she had never been born. This simple thing made the woman committed suicide when they reached the last destination. She could not bear the shame.
I would not be undermined by pretenders. I would speak to them that they are wrong. They would regret ignoring me. They would understand it is important giving me attention. The woman thought she would press the stool down not knowing that it was not possible. It would just be impossible to be pressed down. You think you would, I would just give my gentle command and come out whether you like it or not. The problem you think you would push to me would instead bounce back to you. You would learn that it would be better you kill your shyness and respect my command. Otherwise, the woman who undermined the stool committed suicide at the end.
I would never be avoided. One time, hippo decided to avoid stool. He told his friend to close his anus. He kept eating without defecating. He just managed to spend two sleepless nights. But the third night, the story went viral. The stool burst out with a force more than any force you can remember. The noise was heard almost a distance of an hour. It is believed that it is the reason hippopotamus have a wide anus today.
There is no way one can avoid a stool. Whether you are superior or inferior, all of you must face the justice of stool. If one wants to avoid stool, one has to avoid what enters the mouth first. As long as something still enters the mouth, stool must always be there. I would be unavoidable like stool, too. People would know I mean a lot in their lives. They would first close their breathing in oxygen to avoid me. Stool cannot be avoided even by the richest man on earth.
I would be a reliever! The time the stool gets out of you, you feel more relieved. Imagine you have had no access to the toilet for two days and finally you get a toilet. You would feel more relieved than even taking a cold bath in a hot day. I would live to bring comfort to people’s lives. The time they have me in their lives, they would know they have the reliever. I would relieve them of their stress by giving them hope. I would relieve them of their frustrations by encouraging them to try once more. It is worth relieving lives.
I would be noticeable. Who would pass by a stool without noticing it? A stool is blessed with a very unbearable smell, for it to be easily noticed. Without it smelling people would step on it for those in the village. Without the toilet smelling, visitors won’t locate its direction. A stool is noticed even from afar.
It is human to be noticed. People must know you exist. What do you do to be noticed? A stool just chose to smell. Everyone noticed it. I would do something great to be noticed. Though people close their noses when they smell a stool, it is just pretence. It does not mean they hate it. They are just jealous that it is not their stool. Have you ever seen a person closing his/her nose from the smell of his/her stool? No one I tell you. People will close their noses when they notice your uniqueness. It is obvious that they are jealous. They close their noses because it is not theirs. I would be noticed whether people will close their noses or not; I would not care.
I would never have a comfort zone. Though the stool stay in the stomach well secured, when it is time to leave, it leaves! The stool knows that outside anything dangerous would happen, but that does not stop it from leaving the stomach. In the open defecation, dogs or other animals can eat the stool; it is not a reason to keep it in the stomach. It does not have a comfort zone no matter the risk.
I would not likewise feel that life is only better where I am secured. I would get out whether I would experience their challenges or not. It is just a law that one has to get out at times. The stool knows it is always replaced by another. I would know that I would always be replaced by someone waiting to replace me. Life rotates like that. This one goes. The other one comes. I think the government leaders must learn a lesson from the stool. The stool has a perfect form of leadership. No one rules for more than two days. If one refuses to leave, the stomach will be in trouble. Life is never easy even for the other body parts. Human leaders must also know that when they stay for long in power, there is nothing they bring than trouble. As long as there are other humans to rule, leadership must be rotational.
I would remain me! People say stool smells bad, but that does not make the stool to change to another thing. From the first human being to date, the smell of a stool remains the same. The stool of a rich man or women does not smell sweet. Whether rich or poor, their stool smells the same. People would criticise me and say maybe that I am not a good person. It would not change who I am. I would remain me.
Finally, I would never waste time! Stool is the best time keeper. Most people, unless for health issues, don’t defecate at night. A stool knows that it is time for rest. As the body rests, it rests too. It marks the time very well. I would mark my time very well. I would rest when I would. And I would work when I would. Be kind to the nation.