By: Joseph Akim Gordon
The dependency syndrome is when people look to others to be their source, avoiding personal responsibility by putting the responsibility for their life on other people, the dependency syndrome is when people look to others to be their source, avoiding personal responsibility for their life on other people. This type of people can be regarded as lazy, do not like to work hard for their livelihood, in most cases the person prefers to extend their personal problems for others to find solution for their problems.
These are people who are scared to make decision on their own problem they prefer others to make decision for them, this is referred to as emotional dependency it is a state of mind where a person is incapable of taking full responsibility for their own feelings. They do have emotion like sorrow, grief, heartbreak, anxiety and depression but they cannot embrace, accept or nurture these feelings. They tend not to address the cause of these feelings and to leads to the need for approval from others. They are emotionally depending on others. Emotional dependency occurs when we rely on others to feel happy, which can lead to dangerous consequences that can affect our peace of mind and wellbeing.
To overcoming emotional dependency can be painful, you will have to face uncomfortable truths and traumas. When you discover a presence of mind and inner strength that will help you to be more independent as such will realize the importance to become less dependence setting you on the right to the path to true happiness. when your able to take personal responsibilities to matters that affect your life. Some signs of emotional dependency:
- Constant need to be closed to other people.
- Constant insecurity
- A feeling of not being good enough to be with the partner
- Obsessive fear of losing their partner
- Constant feeling of guilt if they don’t’ pay total attention to their partner.
- Acceptance of psychological suffering, for fear of losing the relationship
The dependency if not tackled will lead to high level of stress and it can have significant impact on the way we experience and express our emotions. This can be manifested by rapid and sudden change, constant feelings of depression and low mood, sudden outbreak of anger or sadness can lead to shouting or crying, intense feeling may manifest violence and tension and one can have somatic symptom like headache, stomach distress and muscle tension.
It is worth to note that the emotional dependent can be stopped, you must feel worthy and lovable, emotional connection with self is very crucial, pushing away your thoughts and feelings only create a void within and getting to know yourself through a process of self-expression is how you can establish a self-connection, practice expressing yourself through your speech, writing or voice recording.
Be aware of who you are and your emotions, you must accept yourself do not deny who you are. To become a better version of yourself you must first need to embrace your true self and be aware of your strengths and weakness. The first step towards learning how to stay emotionally strong and meeting your emotional needs is by identifying and acknowledging your emotions and when you experience them, this initially is challenging, and it is perfectly normal to face difficulties while trying to manage your unpleasant feelings, it is true in life that you can face ups and down throughout your life. Learn to be there for yourself, because humans are social beings, and they will want to connect with another individual at one point or the other, however, it is our self-connection that has the most transformative powers.
It is crucial that you learn to look after your mental and physical health. You must take full responsibility for the choices and decisions you make; you can persuade yourself of anything good to take responsibility for doing so, it means to be entirely aware of your thoughts, feelings, actions and accept them. Emotional; dependency causes significant strains in relationships between people. Adult emotional dependency between individuals in a relationship leads to anxiety, stress and hurt feelings.
How to break emotional dependency is a question many people faced. You can let go of emotional dependency by becoming emotionally strong, staying in touch with both negative and positive emotions instead of seeking refuge in someone else the moment you feel down, learning to be there for yourself, understand triggers to emotional dependence, decide for yourself, do not seek permission.
The author can be reached through e-mail: akimgordon222@gmail.com