If your hands are fine and your brother’s hands are coarse, then your chance of being hated by your brother is high. If your ideas always impress people and your brother’s ideas make people worried, then your chance of being hated by your brother is high. If you have a natural urge to tell your brother to dismiss a bad thought, idea, act or habit, your brother may not be happy about that and that, he will develop hatred for you. There is a lot to cite.
Adam had two sons, Cain and Abel. Cain’s hands were coarse and that, his offerings to God were bitter. But Abel’s hands were fine and that, his offerings to God were delicious. Because of this, Cain misdirected his anger to his own brother Abel, called him out and man slaughtered him.
Was it Abel’s problem? It was Cain himself. He used not to offer offerings in good faith and so, God was not happy about that. Instead of Cain man slaughtering God for hating his offerings, he turned his anger against his own brother.
Joseph stood out among his brothers and so, his father put a long robe with sleeves on him. This angered his brothers to the core, to the real core that they sold him to Ishmaelites who took him to Egypt. But because he was innocent, God protected him and made him a successful man in life. Esau was a skillful hunter meanwhile Jacob was a dweller in tents. When they served their father, Isaac, Esau’s food was always good, and this made Isaac love Esau. Jacob developed hatred for Esau.
When Isaac was about to bless Esau, Jacob tricked his father Isaac to be blessed instead of Esau. When Esau learnt of it, he hated Jacob back to the point of death. But God touched their hearts to forgive one another at the end of the game. Esau became hated because of his skills in hunting, which Jacob did not have. Instead of learning these skills from his brother, Jacob developed a hatred for Esau.
One son asked his father to give him his share of wealth, so he tried doing a business with it. His father did it as he requested, and he went away. Thereafter, he became a prodigal son. While multiplying his money to get more, it was as if he was subtracting it.
Things were unfolding their true colours to the prodigal son and finally, his share of wealth became no more. He was like returning home, but the fact that he has waste his share could not allow him to return. Time passed by until came the day when he finally made up his mind to return home. At home, he was cordially welcomed by his father and a big ceremony was organised for him.
But his brothers grew annoyed why a wasteful son was honoured and, not them. They refused to attend the ceremony and promised to hate his prodigal brother to the point of death. So many stories could be told about a brother hating another brother.
If we are to eliminate hatred, then we must live like a “needle and thread”. A needle can’t knit without a thread and a thread can’t knit itself without a needle. For the case of an external force trying to tear brothers apart, the same life of a “needle and thread” could be applied. However much one tries to separate a needle from thread, he must still bring them together when he wants to knit his cloth.
If you are hated by your brother because you win an argument 10 times a day and he wins only once, the best solution is not to hate him back but to give him your shoulder to lean on and tell him the secret of success. Doing so, you will be brothers for life, trust me.
The author is a medical student, University of Juba.