By Joseph Akim Gordon
It is obligatory for man and woman to live together as husband and wife after the completion of customary obligations. For those who are religious, the marriage will be blessed through matrimony that binds them together; they become one body.
Nobody can separate this relationship except by death or when one commits capital sin or adultery. But nowadays, divorce has become common; you hear about single mothers. There are many cases of divorce and marriage discomfort due to economic or social problems, particularly now that the country is experiencing acute financial difficulties.
Divorce can be due to the fact that one of the couples dies and the wife or husband seeks another partner; at other times, divorce is due to misunderstandings between the husband and wife that end in divorce.
A woman who is divorced with a child or more will keep a secret and start looking for a new husband but she will make sure to look elegant and attractive so young men will get hooked by her, she will not reveal her past status, a man will hurry to make marriage arrangement as fast as possible, once they start living together then the husband will start to realize her past status, after having one child or two whenever makes lots of demand more from the husband because she wants to support her children with the first husband, if she does not get enough support from the new husband she becomes noisy and making a comparison that her former husband was generous that she made mistake to divorce the former husband. This makes the new husband angry and furious but tolerable because he has children with her.
A divorced wife should have made it clear right from the beginning that she was divorced with a number of children, and then it is up to the man to make a final decision whether to marry her or not. This should similarly happen to a man who has divorced his wife and is seeking to marry another one.
This must be made very clear right from the start of the relationship: the husband has children from the divorced wife, and the new wife went together with her children from the previous marriage. Having children of the husband and of the wife from a previous marriage will always be a source of problems in the house.
When the husband dies immediately after marriage, she has no children. Some African cultures will allow the wife to be adopted by the brother of the late brother; she will be made to choose among the brothers of the late brother through a simple ceremony.
In this arrangement, the girl has no choice but to accept this traditional arrangement, whether she loves the new fellow or not. If, for one reason or another, the girl rejects, then the parents will be obliged to return the dowry, which is problematic at a time when the dowry is no longer available. For this reason, the parents of the girl will encourage her to take the new husband.
Another controversy in South Sudanese culture is that if a girl is married with four children or more, if the husband leaves his wife for one reason or another, whoever will come and Mary her and have children with the new husband, all the children with the first husband and second husband will go to the first husband, and the new husband will enjoy marriage relations and services in the relationship.
For this reason, one must have thorough research before making an informed decision in marriage. In some situations, marriage is commercialized. If a wife realizes that her husband is poor and unable to satisfy her needs, she will create reasons to divorce him and find a wealthy husband, ending a marriage that depended on wealth once the wealth disappeared. Women who run after money may fail miserably because money is not everything. So, it is important that men be careful not to associate women who are money-minded with relationships based on money because money is not everything.
Marrying a divorced man or woman is dictated by social and economic circumstances. The divorced person can start a new life after negative experiences from the past. If you tackle the marriage relationship well, both will be able to live in peace in the house and community. What matters is to make a good choice based on research in the process of choosing a partner.
The author can be reached through e-mail: akimgordon222@gmail.com