For many of us, we wish we had more time to do all that we want for as long as we can. For others, they wish they could undo all the mistakes they have made in the past but guess what? The story never changes, we have one last chance, to make good use of the time that we have without looking back.
We use this time differently; many people want to make millions of money. Some spend their time in church. Others dedicate their lives to charity, helping the less fortunate. Some become criminals. Others become politicians, for these people, they decide who lives and who dies. It all goes down to what makes you happy. Some don’t find happiness in what they do but others do.
For many people, one of life’s greatest sorrows is losing a loved one, sickness and the horrors of war. If you have lost a loved one in the past or two years ago, you wish there was a way you could travel back and have a chance with that person, maybe to let them know how you missed them and perhaps, the person you have become in recent years.
What if we could witness events of the past unfold before our eyes? What if we could travel back to the past and find the cure for cancer or undo the war that has taken innocent lives, would the dead be alive? What if you could travel back to the 1900s and maybe kill your grandfather, would you be born today?
It is sad how life could be this cruel and how it suddenly puts a full stop when we need to proceed ahead, most times we wish there was a way we could change things and reverse situations. The time I spent with my cousin brother in the hospital has left me with a badge of hatred forever, not for people but for life itself. I wear this badge every day and I don’t know what will change that.
You know when you are in the hospital with a friend or a family member; you don’t do it to make the person happy or so that the person does the same for you when your time comes. You do it as a way of fighting the sickness together, but at the end of the day, you get defeated but for some people, they come out stronger. For us, we came out destroyed both psychologically and physically.
I try each day to erase the memories, but they just remain vivid in my mind. If you want to know how human beings can be weak sometimes, watch them fight back their tears. You don’t hold back your tears because you are strong; you do it for the patient. At one point, you are on your knees praying; at another, you are seated right before the doctor to hear the sad news.
For most doctors, it is hard to know what is on their minds when they are reading your medical results. But something will tell you that things are not right, but the doctor will try to tell you that all will be fine. You definitely know there is something wrong when he steals a glance at you. In your mind, you just imagine how many years are left for you to live on Earth. In sickness, there are times of remission, when the signs and symptoms completely disappear.
At these times, you begin to see the good side of life and immediately, you begin to talk about your future plans and what you want to do when you get out of the hospital bed but there also come times of serious flare-ups, when the sickness returns with worrying signs. It could be high blood pressure or increased white blood cells.
You will try all the online sources and they will tell you different stories. Some will take you back to how it started and how unfortunate you are. The doctor will warn you not to Google your sickness because it won’t give you the solutions you need. You wonder if you would ever trust the doctor or Google because they are all not telling the truth.
You can imagine how these recurrences can darken all the dreams you had and the burdens on the family. Your phones couldn’t stop ringing from the family far back home, they want to know how you are fairing and if there has been some improvement. But you just lied, that all is well.
But you know what, the struggle to pay the hospital bills. You remember when you called the family back home; it is not always about how well the situation is improving. It is about money. You can remember how you left home to seek better medical attention abroad and how you left home empty.
You can remember how the family struggled to raise some funds to rescue your situation and it brought tears to your eyes and how you all lost in the process. Sometimes I wonder if God is smoking his pipe or if he is still on holiday because there are times when we need God to just give us a listening ear even if for a minute. It would make a difference at least. I wish we could travel far into the future and prevent the events that were designed to cause us pain or travel back into the past and correct our past mistakes.
Don’t get emotional when you are reading my writing. Just learn and continue with your daily bustles and hustles of life. Thanks for reading.