OpEd, Politics

How and why being the president is not good for you

It is too expensive to be a president.

And if you don’t know, most of the presidents live as if they hold the keys to heaven.  They spend like there is no tomorrow. If they have problems, money is not one of those problems.  They have a lot of money that they don’t even know what to do with it.  They are money themselves. The corrupt ones live in and around money.  Some even cry and blame God for giving them a lot of money.

When you meet the president, he can bless you with anything but when he takes his blessing, he can do so with your life too, when he is not happy with you.  Don’t admire the life that most of the presidents live. They live in invisible prisons where everyday is a repeat, always like yesterday. What is the meaning of security if it takes away your freedom?

If there is a president that has ever had a restful night of sleep, maybe it was when he was not yet president.  Most presidents don’t live like the commons. They have to inspect the bed where he sleeps first before he goes to bed to make sure that he is safe and when he goes to bed, there are men who are going to remain awake to keep him safe through the night. If the president’s sleep was for 7 hours, it means that those men will have to wait for 7 hours or more.

It is not easy to be a president because someone else plans most of your days. I used to imagine how the president starts his early morning.  Of course, he doesn’t have to set an alarm. He can sleep for as long as he wants and it will never affect how he lives his life. How can you be the president and wake up early, to do what? The president is the man next to God, so he has to live like God but there is one thing the president will never do and it is to pay someone to sleep on his behalf. It should teach them that they are not God.

When he wakes up in the morning, they have to check him first if he is fine or not and if he is well, he will have to brush his teeth. This process is not as normal as you think. It is the president. They will have to test everything including the water before someone brushes his teeth for some good minutes.  Most presidents have never brushed their teeth by themselves in years and they miss the joy that comes with it.

To the president, everyone is an enemy. So, if he is president of a country with 3 million people, it means has 3 million enemies.  He can destroy all of them if he wants but you know he will be left alone, so all he has to do is to eliminate the stubborn ones.  The worst punishment that the president can do to his people is to deprive them of their basic human rights, education, and healthcare, name them all.

The president has trust issues too. Some presidents don’t even trust their eyeglasses. They imagine that there will come a time when the glasses will kill them. So, all they do is pour millions of money into strengthening the security, his own security not that of his country.

It is very interesting to be a president. It is a privilege that comes once in a lifetime but something that robs you of your happiness. There is no happy president and if I had it correctly, a beggar is more grateful than some presidents.  For the beggar, little is always enough because they feel like they don’t deserve much and for the president, enough is little because they think they deserve more. How can a man who has been blessed with so much but still feels like it is nothing be happy?

If you think being president will make you happy, forget about it my friend. The president doesn’t enjoy the freedom that you enjoy.  Even with his money, he cannot buy one happy day of his life.

If you borrow some money from a friend, you can buy a full chicken and dance around it in your house for hours and nobody will come for you. The president has limits to how much he enjoys all that he has.  Everything about the president is fake including this smile.  He has fake friends too who can’t imagine their survival without the president.

They tell him million of lies and encourage the president to believe those lies to be true.  If the president is doing worse, they will tell him that he is the best president that God has ever chosen in his generation. They will even blame him for always being a good man. Sometimes the president is tempted to blame God for giving him a clean heart. He can even shed tears for being the only good man among millions of people and his friends will come with handkerchiefs and wipe his tears.

They will even pretend to share in the president’s predicament with some shedding torrent of crocodile tears.  The president doesn’t cry like the common because when he is crying, you will think he is laughing and when you laugh, it will be your last laugh, you know what that means, you will be killed. How can you laugh when the president is crying for being a good man?

The president is surrounded by men who constantly tell him that everyone is his enemy. If the president has ever heard any single truth in his life, maybe it is when he was not a president.  The president believes that everyone leads the same life of abundance just like he does when millions are languishing in penury.

The only person, among millions of the people that lives like the president himself is the official food taster. If there are people that the president trusts, he is one of them.  He tastes the president’s breakfast, lunch, supper and even drinking water. He moves with the president wherever he goes.  If the president were to die by poison, he would be the first to die. If he dies from cardiac arrest or any other ailment, the president’s doctors will never do an autopsy to determine the cause of his death because they will assume that he died of poison.

If the food taster dies, the cooks will never cook again. They will be eliminated because they will think they want to kill the president.

Food tasting is one of the best jobs in the world but it is equally one of the riskiest.  It is one of the highest paying jobs around because it will pay for your funeral when you are no more. A food taster can make more money than a university professor.

For the university lecturer, he will have to deal with the hours of standing in front of students and nights of going through students’ exams’ scripts giving some f(s) and others what they truly deserve. The president food taster doesn’t have to do all this, he just sits down with a spoon to taste a meal, which was prepared by the best chef in the world and gets thousands of dollars for doing that. May God protect all the food tasters in the world, peace.



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