By Ustaz Mark Bang
Most of the people never know choosing who to marry but remember to be vigilant, wise and optimistic before coupling up with the wrong person in life as a husband or wife.
Is there that great person in your life loving you good? Don’t push that person away, or else that person will walk out of your life and you will never find someone that incredible and who connects with you all your life. It will torment you to grow older with thoughts of “What if I was still with that person?”
One needs to know at younger ages that, it is easy to show contempt to your parents; what do your parents know? They are old-fashioned, shady and small-minded. But your parents are still your parents whether you agree with them or not, whatever their style. Don’t let your parent die or age separated from you, reconcile and make up. When you get older, you will realize why your parents wanted to be close to you. The older you get, the more you see the value.
We make various choices without the future in mind. Sometimes those choices bite us in our mid-life. These are some of the things one might regret when they’re older. When you’re young, check your motives for marrying. Don’t marry to copy your peers, or for social standing or out of pressure. Marry for love and companionship, marry the right person, marry your best friend. For if you marry the wrong person or for the wrong reasons, you will have to put up with that person for the rest of your life. Things might get worse between you two; then depression, physical abuse, affairs, pain, shame, court cases, and bitterness will define your mid-life years all because you chose the wrong one. Things will get worse when children are involved. Make the right choice of a spouse when you are young. The opportunities you did not seize hurt a relationship not for a time but long-lasting, so I advise you not to marry just because of pressure they may say you’re old and so on.
When you are younger many doors will open, you will get many chances. Many young people let these opportunities go because of fear, laziness, or pride; yet well younger and with more energy is the best time to start a venture and a name for yourself. Some think the opportunities are too big for them. Take advantage of them or one day when you’re older you will want to go back and grab those missed chances.
When we are younger, we care little for relationships, what most think about is getting money and moving up the ladder of success at all costs. Many use and trample on people to progress, they take relationships for granted, messing up bonds, sleeping with people for personal gain. But these bad actions will catch up with you ahead. When you realize how empty life is without love and friends. When you have success but no one around you or no one to trust you.
You are a young lady, you get pregnant and you are scared. You take the aborting option quickly thinking of that moment then. But when you are much older, you will look back and wish you kept that baby. When you are rich and successful you will wish that child you gave up on would be around to enjoy the fruits of your hard work. Being a single mother doesn’t mean you can’t make it in life or you can’t find a man in future?
Young man, you impregnated a woman, she told you she’s pregnant with your child. You rejected her and the baby and ran. But years later when you’re 50+, you will wish you were responsible, you will wish you manned up and became a father to that child. You will see that child excel and become an adult but will have no claim to that grown child who you rejected from the beginning. You will regret being a Dead Beat Dad by choice
So you get married to your good fiancé; the first months in marriage were good but shortly after, with your money and charm, you started having affairs. You became unfaithful. Your spouse begged you to stop, your children started hurting, your marriage was collapsing. One day when you are older, it will hit you how foolish you were to destroy the good marriage you had begun to build for mere temporary thrills in affairs that did you no good. You will realize the damage you caused to your children and spouse.
When you are much older you become wiser, God becomes more real as you see life in a more meaningful way. But don’t wait to get older to start enjoying a relationship with God. Know God when you are young, and build your future with God. Don’t be a young rebel who runs back to God when age catches up.
You have only one body to live with all your life. The cigarettes, the alcohol you are abusing, the drugs you are taking, the unhealthy food you’re consuming; all that will destroy you slowly. When you are 50 and lifestyle diseases catch up with you, you will wish you had taken care of your body when younger, that you exercised more; but now the damage is done.
The time you are wasting when you are younger in worry, wrong relationships, laziness, being a couch potato, giving excuses and pursuing meaningless things; you will never get back.
In Conclusion, are you talented when young; are there things you love to do and you are good at them? Nurture those talents, exploit them, don’t give up even if you encounter setbacks, and don’t give up on your dreams. If you give up, when you’re older you will look at your peers who stuck to what they love and made it and think to yourself, “That could have been me”. Pursue a career, study a course you love. Don’t waste years of your life in a field that doesn’t fulfil you. When you are older, a legacy is very important, the value of your name is crucial. You will ask yourself what is your reputation, and what are you leaving behind. Your legacy is the sum total of your actions since your youthful days. We write our biography by how we live life every day. When you look back your path and you see the mud you threw at your own name, the shame you attracted and the little value you have added to the world; you will regret.
Are you riding on good money during your productive years? Earning good money? Don’t throw away that money in clubs, reckless living and wasteful shopping. Invest with that money, widen your revenue stream, make that money work for you and keep it safe to take care of you in your older years. Leave an inheritance for your loved ones so that you will never say “I wish I knew better”. “Public Staunchest Ally”
The writer is a Human rights activist, writer and professional teacher,