Ustaz Mark Bang
Who is a child, and what does a child deserve to have in life before becoming somebody in the future? A child is a person below the age of 18 years, and this is something known by everyone.
A child doesn’t make the right decision; she/he sees her/his own ways as very important, not knowing these might cause harm. They need love, care, guidance, and what it means to be a mother and a father. Deprivation of all these is harmful to a child.
A child who is taken care of by their parents is a child, trained, shown love, and given a safer space in everything they need. If any child misses all these things, they will never be children, but others might come—street child, bad boy, or girl—name them.
Therefore, as a good parent, you need to know that your presence and provision are needed. Show your child no judgment, no rejection, or that he/she has to do certain things to earn your love. Don’t compare your child with others; show your child unconditional love no matter what it means. Allow your child to grow into the phases of life. Don’t expect your child to reason like you yet have more experience. Don’t rob your child of his/her childhood or teenagerhood. Let your child curve his/her own identity.
Nothing stresses a child more than a home where mom and dad are in turmoil or where a single parent is erratic and abusive. Give your child safe spaces. Parent together as a couple. Show your child teamwork so that when she or he grows up, she or he will know how to live with people, work together, help others, and do sensible things for any party she or he is working with. Let your child learn to say sorry when she or he is wrong and when good things are done to him or her.
Deliberately do things to show support, such as cheering on, giving out success cards, bragging about your child in public, being present in landmark moments, and affirming your child. Guide your child into having a vision. A vision is your child’s why. Why go to school? Why work hard? Why pursue goals? Don’t just tell your child what to do; help him/her get their personal why. Be your child’s biggest cheerleader. When she/he falls, help the child up. Be your child’s inspiration. Cultivate a value system in your child so that he/she can choose what is right even in moments you are not around. Teach your child self-control and how to stay on course. Self-control is a muscle; the more your child practices it, the better your child becomes at it. Take your child to the best schools you can afford; if you are able to get a sponsorship, do it. Buy books and share content that builds; if you give your child a digital device, direct your child to sites that lead to growth. Make learning fun. Expose your child to different ideas through travel; push boundaries.
Every family has its own traditions; make sure you only practice what is good for the family and the child. Not every aspect of man-made culture should be transferred to the next generation. Don’t give up on your child; be aware that nurturing takes time. Don’t expect too much too soon. Avoid driving your child into depression to impress you. You should be the first person your child runs to. Be easy to talk to. Be approachable. Far too many children are suffering in silence yet with parents. Share with your children the life lessons you have picked along the way. Your children shouldn’t struggle the way you did or make the mistakes you did. Family is about shared experiences; give your child good ones, not trauma. Show your child that life is more than good grades. Teach your child how to handle and create wealth, how to socialize, how to be emotionally intelligent, how to solve problems, how to grow close to God, and how to take care of his/her body. Raise him/her whole. Surround your child with the right type of people; this means choosing friends who are pro-family, friends who are good role models, friends who can mentor and be a good connection for your child. Give your child a head start in life; store up value to hand over to your child. Live honorably so that your child will be proud to call himself/herself yours. “Public Staunchest Ally.”
The writer of this article is a human rights activist, writer, and professional teacher.