Your daughter must have been influenced by her peers. Many young girls studying are forced to have boyfriends by their peers who already have their own.
Having a boyfriend or girlfriend is what young people crave for. If your peers discover that you don’t have one, they give you names.
I believe such must have happened to your daughter. She must not have calculated the negative part of having a boyfriend. That is what normally happens to many other young girls like yours.
You bought a smartphone for your daughter. Many young girls sometimes don’t know how to use a smartphone correctly. Your daughter might have watched pornography or blue movies. Watching pornographic images has been the main cause of young girls getting pregnant.
After watching those movies, they will try to prove it by themselves. Your daughter must have done the same. Watching those movies must have pushed her into sex.
Your daughter must have been forced into sex by her friends. The youngsters’ main talks are on sex these days. If you see a group of young girls or boys, the topic must be about how they enjoy sex. Young girls and boys of these days believe that having sex is the only way of saying, “I LOVE YOU.” Young girls are asked to prove love by giving in to sex. They think denying someone sex, means you don’t love the person. It must have happened to your daughter like that. Please, consider forgiving her.
Girls like appearing smart before people. A girl likes to buy so many things to look attractive. Many of them if not provided well by the parents will consider getting someone who provides her with what she needs and gives sex to such a person. It is evident that many become pregnant through such a way. There are many men who only demand sex and care less whether the girl is a student or not. They only want to satisfy their sexual feelings. I don’t know whether it is what has happened to your daughter. I don’t know whether you provide your daughter with what she needs to look like other girls. Please, don’t rush to condemnation. Check yourselves first. You might be the cause.
Consider our context in South Sudan. Many young girls get married when very young. My own sister got married when she was 16. I could not do anything since it is something connected to culture. It is now a pressure to young girls in school. Those young girls who are already women give false testimonies to them. They are told it is nice being a woman. You will have children and have a home. For girls having a child and having a home is their joy. Girls too don’t like being controlled by their other women even by their own mothers. Such must have happened to your daughter, dear parents. Please, forgive her.
Your daughter must have involved herself into sexual practice just to protect her dignity. There are men or boys who will force a girl to give sex or else they will propagate about her. I have a story of my student. A boy approached her. She rejected the boy. The boy got a naked lady somewhere and photo-chopped the head of my student. The boy posted the picture on social media claiming that that was my student. The boy did that to pressure the girl in order to accept his proposal. Many young girls get into sex through such pressures. Girls don’t like being exposed that way. They always stand to protect their dignity. It might have happened to your daughter like that. Please, forgive her.
Many girls don’t like being seen old. They always want to remain young. Sometimes they misinterpret how they look. Your daughter must have seen herself very old. I know she is fat. Her size must have pressured her. She must have misinterpreted that she was getting older and no man would accept marrying if she continues to stay unmarried. Our setting also contributes a lot. Many girls join school very late. Girls are not like boys. They grow faster. They don’t like it when they appear very old. They will rush for marriage to avoid being seen as out-dated. The society also does not support late marriages. Please, dear parents, consider forgiving her.
This blame should go to you, dear parents. You don’t talk about sex to your children. You obey your culture that does not talk about sex. Your children completely don’t know anything about sex. They only discover it by themselves. Why do you think your children can be careful about sex when they surely don’t know anything about it? Self-discovery is always the worst. We keep off dangers because we are told to do so. I know you still have your other daughters. Please, take time with them. Teach them about sex and how they should avoid dangerous people and places.
The schools carry the second blame about young girls getting pregnant. I taught your daughter. I hadn’t taught in her presence about sex. The curriculum isn’t clear on sex education. Everyone is just quiet about it. I guess one reason. The teachers who are to teach sex education don’t understand it. If school administrators and teachers date their students, do you think they will teach sex education?
Some teachers are also culturally prohibited to talk about sex. My culture does not allow me to talk about sex. I find it very hard to talk to students about sex. I sweated the first time I mentioned, penis and vagina before my students. It wasn’t very easy. But it became normal as I continued talking about it. I pity my biology teachers. Most of them find it hard to teach male and female reproductive organs. The schools must teach sex education to avoid early pregnancy.
My dear parents, I know you are very sad. You had been paying your daughter from nursery school up to secondary school. If your daughter didn’t get pregnant she would be finalizing her secondary education this year. But she is now pregnant. She won’t do her exams, but it doesn’t mean she has failed in life.
It had happened to so many girls in South Sudan. They got pregnant but they are very successful now. Some have learned from that one mistake and they won’t repeat it again. Some of them are studying outside South Sudan now. I have my sister who is studying in Egypt. She got pregnant. But after breastfeeding her boy, she decided to continue with her education. She is studying engineering and soon she will finish.
Don’t take it upon your daughter alone, dear parents. It is normal thing that can happen to anyone. It is not a sign of failure. We can only condemn it before it happens. I am not happy with so many parents who completely forsake their daughters while it is fully their fault. It is the fault of the parents for a girl to get pregnant. Some parents go to the extent of excommunicating their daughters from their families. I don’t see wisdom in them.
If I can ask this question, why does it pain us when a girl gets pregnant than a boy impregnating a girl? You celebrate when your son impregnates a girl and you curse your daughter when impregnated. It is not wise. It shows we love boys more than girls. It shows favoritism. We don’t need to do that as parents. We must love our children equal. Sometimes girls accept to become pregnant because they are not treated equally with their brothers. Treat your children the same.
I know your daughter very well. I had taught her in class. She will be successful in life. I don’t believe it was her decision to get pregnant. Something like the ones I mentioned above must have pushed her into it. You need to accept that it has happened. Forget the past. Encourage her to resume her school after nursing her child. She will still make it dear parents. Life is about rise and fall. The wise don’t fall and remain. They fall and rise.
I would like to thank the parents who accept their daughters even after being impregnated. Such parents have understood that girls are vulnerable to many things. It is hard for a girl to finish her education. It is surely a big struggle. Most of them survive by aborting which is the worst sin. Those who fear aborting their children will accept to get pregnant. I thank God for such girls.
I advise my students to be careful. Girls, be careful. There are many hungry men. They only need sex. They don’t think about your future. They will ruin your future. They will destroy your life. They will deceive you with their empty promises. A man who hungers for sex has the sweetest tongue. You will never escape him. You won’t believe he is a deceiver. Avoid dangerous places. Avoid bad friends. Don’t watch blue movies. You will be tempted to taste sex. The taste of an illegal sex is bitter than death. Be kind to yourself.