By Malek Arol Dhieu
In my dictionary, I had never found a suitable word to praise the alcohol bill-payers who have been contributing to the rapid growth of alcohol industries. I particularize alcohol bill-payers because, as they continue clearing the bills, broke drunkards never go for alcoholic holidays, which reduces the severity of alcoholism. I praise them for investing in alcohol consumption rather than in education, philanthropy, agriculture, infrastructure, or any field of great importance. How many students can, for instance, an alcohol bill of 2 million SSP sponsor? How many feddans of land can a bill of 2 million SSP cultivate? How many vulnerable people can a bill of 2 million SSP feed? And the pile of questions continues. They’ve exerted tremendous efforts on the building of house-attached alcohol shops in all residential areas of Juba. They’ve also played a key role in the making of crude decisions and unexplained conflicts driven by alcohols. Unemployment augments day in, day out because many alcoholics lost and continue losing their jobs while a small fraction of them commits suicide. Many traffic stations are full of cars that made accidents. Unwanted pregnancies and birth defects by spouses addicted to alcohol top the achievements of bill-payers. More dismayingly, the incapacitation of future leaders (youths) becomes the most important achievement of the alcoholics. They’ve contributed to nation building. The second group that merits a mention is the corruptionists who’ve developed South Sudan by looting her money and used it to buy palaces abroad. They deserve an appreciation for shunting the service delivery money to their own bank accounts, another appreciation for taking thousands of dollars to foreign countries for treatment rather than to their fellow South Sudanese doctors, one more appreciation for employing their own relatives, in-laws and friends, and finally, an appreciation for having no faith in the system that gives them such resources. They’ve added South Sudan to the list of the most corrupt countries, congratulations to them. The third group is spear-masters and rebels who’re conflict-fuelers. They deserve recognition for having been nursing wars and intercommunal clashes that shallow the population and stunt the growth of the country. Although achievements are counted on earth, there are no achievements with greater repercussions like wars, so conflict-fuelers deserve a Heavenly call to explain to God why they choose this rewardable profession. They’ve played a key role in keeping South Sudan far away from catching up the developing countries. Thumbs up for them. The fourth group is the Westerners who destabilise countries by interference and inflation of economies. They’ve contributed enormously in the cretinization and deprivation of South Sudan from growth factors and other survival signals to make sure she is dwarfy. They deserve much appreciation for deranging any country in ties with their opponents, another appreciation for supporting factions and one more appreciation for haltering the implementation of the Revitalised Agreement by the renewal of arms embargo. I thank them very much for wasting their time in what they knew they would destroy before its completion. I also thank them for mistrusting the signatories who promised to fulfil their insatiable interests. Congratulations for re-breaking the amalgamized pieces of hope and prolonging the transitional period. The sufferings you promised to end are still counting, what an achievement!
The author is a medical student, University of Juba. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or +211922332811