Commentary

When happiness turns to tears

By Ngor Khot Garang

There is no doubt, we don’t control almost 90 percent of life. You are here today and it is a different news tomorrow. “Mr. Job is no more, he has died in an accident or Sister Mary has hit the jackpot.  You have to be very careful when you are happy because you don’t know what is becoming. The opposite of happiness is sorrow and when you are sad, there is no doubt, this too shall pass.

I don’t have an idea what you think about the men and women who were the talk of our days a decade ago. They are no more.  Nothing lasts in life, the things you chase today will be the things you reject ten years from now. And who knows, when you work hard, the people you are looking for now will come looking for you. I have always had this feeling that your tribe or political party should have no bearing on how far you get in life. That is the country we want.

Don’t be one among thousands of young people who wake up every day waiting for the government to save them. Now get me right, this is not to take away the government’s responsibility, it is to say that regardless of the government in power, your personal responsibility will always account for almost 100 percent of what you become in life. The best government will ever give you is one percent (peaceful environment, better roads, better healthcare. (They are zero, but don’t complain, do something)

I still don’t tolerate a country that works for few but who works for this country is the question of our time. Don’t hate the whole tribe or people for the mistake of one or few people. That is the beginning of the end of a country. Don’t hate if you want to be happy with what you have. There is no happiness in trying to solve a problem you cannot solve. Just assume that human beings are bad people and that they make mistakes, you will never be surprised when something happens.

This best works with marriages or relationships. Don’t think your spouse is perfect because when you have this mindset, you will be crushed when they show their evil side. Then the young family will begin to break apart. I don’t believe in those who call others Incompetent. Unless you are entrusted with power, you have no right to call someone incompetent.

I have always heard people complain of the incompetence of a president of a country whose names is not in my mind and I have always asked how almost 10 million competent people allowed incompetent man to lead them. There is something so shocking here, it is either the man is competent or he is the mirror of the ten million citizens.

When you are dealing with human beings, you have to be careful. It doesn’t matter how good you are, people will always find fault in you. And do you think those who always talk about what should be done and what is wrong can bring the needed solution if given a chance?

Wait and see monsters when they are given a chance to lead others. Life is very funny, sometimes what you are against can be what you actually support.  What about school, hope you have had boys who used to top class in examinations those days. Now in real life, check on them and the dull ones. There is a very big difference and you wonder, what is going on?

I want to tell you that not all who run faster can win the race. Of course you can obey all the traffic rules, never drink and look left and right when crossing the road but you still die in an accident. You only control 1 percent of life, the rest is Karma, God or Jesus, name it. In most cases, the death of our loved ones is a constant reminder that we too will go the same way. What we don’t know is when that time will come knocking.  

This is a very sad reality. The end could actually be the beginning of pain. There is no joy and we will never arrive there. Nobody knows what will happen tomorrow. It could be the end of your life or the beginning of a new life. But what is the meaning of life? To be happy, graduate and make money?

I think there is more to life than living to eat. Sometimes not all who obey God’s words lead successful lives. The poor and those who struggle each have something that they ask God, it could be to get food and send their children to school and that is what kills them.

There are always two stories, the real story and the fake one. The stories you hear about people are not real, the real stories are the ones that are always hard to tell. You cannot be a strong and weak person at the same time. You cannot admire a man, for in doing so, you have to also be mindful of his struggles, pain and worries. For not those that you see having it all are happy. People have secret battles that they are dealing with daily.

You have to think before you judge. Just assume that the person with a big stomach is not fat but sick and the young thin man is not hungry but has something that drains his body each day. People have their insecurities and prayer requests. When you ask Google about the qualities of a good man or woman to marry, you will be disappointed because these are the qualities you will use to get the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with.

There is a difference between a man, woman and wife or husband. Google will say a good man must be humble and your end goal would be to look for a humble man who does not exist. As a human, you must trust yourself and don’t ask for directions in life. Don’t base your selections on people’s recommendations. There is no humble man or woman. If you want to know how humble a person is, try to see how they handle crises and how they treat those below them.

Some of the people who are humble are those who are capable of doing harm but chooses to refrain themselves, that is virtue. Don’t also listen to other people and make your judgments there. Life doesn’t work that way. And in suicide, don’t go forward rubbishing someone when they commit such an act, we know that act is very bad but that is not our work to make conclusion. You don’t know the story behind that suicide. And not everyone is strong the way you are.

You don’t know, not all with money can lead happy lives. Some years ago, there was this King who had a son the king had a particularly grand idea: he would make the child’s life perfect. The son would never lack in his life.  The child would never know a moment of suffering, every need, every desire, would be accounted for at all times.

All of the prince’s childhood went on like this. But despite the endless luxury and opulence, the prince became kind of a pissed-off young man. Soon, every experience felt empty and valueless. The problem was that no matter what his father gave him, it never seemed enough, never meant anything.  

So he decided to run away to experience poverty and meet some kind of suffering, this son was Buddha. The story of this young man teaches a lot that we will never be satisfied in life. This is why we should not judge those who commit suicide. Have you ever seen the weight lifters? They find happiness in pain, others find their happiness in helping the poor. It is not always in having all the luxury. You have to be careful.

Thanks for Reading. These writings are some of little attempts to parse through humanity’s deepest questions. Feel free to reach the writer through 0925405723. Strictly comments only.    

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