Nothing lasts

By Ngor Khot Garang

Have you ever come across an adage that “Every human being has his or her day?” If you haven’t yet, it is still fine but it is true that there will come a time in your life when God will intervene and turn your life around for the better. If you can’t still believe this, well this is not important. I have an interesting point to make here.    

One beautiful day, I took an evening walk with my friend. We wanted to see how far Juba had developed within the last few years. It was no doubt many people were erecting good buildings and the issue of land grabbing made up the story.

There was this friend who met us and surprised us with a shocking news of how his new plot of land has drained his pocket and left him in financial needs which cost him nearly SSP 2 million. If this guy could afford a plot of land amounting to SSP 1 million or more, it means he has something more than that in his bank account.

Listen, this young man is just three or four years older than me and there he was talking about his own land when I can’t even afford a daily meal. I felt really ashamed of myself and it dawned on my brother who was moving with me that he was being left behind because they were on the same age bracket with the friend who had just acquired his land at his mid-twenties. I was mentally disturbed and I felt like I should have done something better but something in me was greatly annoyed for having behaved that way.

This guy has played his cards well and he was making it in life. Does his success make me a failure or something like that? No, this can’t be. Life is not a competition and it will never be either. People have their own paths in life. Others can make it early and some later in life. It is all part of this life. When you see your brothers or sisters winning, celebrate with them and be happy for them too because this is a sign that your breakthrough is coming.

You are not defeated until you give up but when you keep going through, chances are you are going to win and not a lottery because that is impossible. You have to believe in yourself and do something for yourself or for your mama and papa. It is okay you may not be the luckiest person in the world.

Everything about you has been a failure one after the other. Maybe you were raised in a broken family which is the experience of every South Sudanese but your story does not end here.   

You may feel defeated or like you are left behind but that is not true. It doesn’t have to be that way. I have friends who completed their high school with me. Some of them have got scholarships, others have made some money and are planning to marry or do something better with their lives. Am happy for them.

 I am a writer without money but I don’t feel defeated because I know I am doing the right thing. In my writing journey, I have had people who called me and shared their painful experiences with me. If am not exaggerating, some of them told me that they didn’t know that they would be who they are today. The same thing applies to you. There are times when you can’t believe you would get out of this dungeon. It is fine. I feel that way sometimes but do you know what has been keeping me going even in the midst of unavoidable circumstances for the last few years?

It is a belief that God has a plan for me. I am not an empty person. I may be poor but I have plans. I know when I hold in there for sometimes, God is going to open himself to me and give me what I want. It doesn’t have to be something big because the life you have is a bigger than anything you would ever need in this life.

Please learn to love yourself and appreciate every moment of your life. It is tough I know but those difficult moments come with blessings. You can’t believe this but trust me, they surely do. This life is full of disappointments. It is all for your own good. If you can’t feel the pain. If you don’t have anything to make you cry, I am sorry but you are not fit to be here. Something must rob you of your happiness that is why it is called life.  You have to stand up and claim your happiness back but when you think like you are a no body that is what you will be. Try to improve yourself and mind your own business in whatever thing you do, it will work out one day.

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