Ask your RT-GoNU, not me, says Mr. DEVELOPMENT

By Malek Arol Dhieu
I, Mr Development, would like to clarify it today that whoever asks me asks a wrong person! Anybody who needs me should go and ask RT-GoNU because what took my dear life is within the Revitalised Peace Agreement which resulted in the formation of the RT-GoNU.
When the agreement was signed in 2018, people became overjoyed, but I became unconscious because the existence of five Vice Presidents and expansion of the ministries and parliament would squeeze the neck of budgets allocated for me. Where do you think I, Mr Development, can survive here?
First and foremost, what kills me is the lengthiness of the agreement itself because it takes resources to have it implemented and you all know how slow its implementation moves.

Secondly, as the five Vice Presidents exist, they all need motorcades not any other model than V8s and land cruisers.  If one Vice President is driven by five V8s and three land cruisers for bodyguards, how many V8s and land cruisers all together can five Vice Presidents have? 25 V8s and 15 land cruisers, imagine! And how much is one V8 and a land cruiser? So much money! So much! Not only that, if black and white V8s are the ones in use this year, who knows maybe blue or green V8s are the ones to be used next year?
Thirdly, if a Minister is driven by three V8s and one land cruiser, how many V8s and land cruisers have they all together? And the issue of rebellion is not abandoned yet as other factions are still in the bush.

Rebellion is going to end when “COMPROMISE” is buried and when conjunction “AND” no longer exists among the names of the ministries. Rebels expect that when they are called to sign peace, ministries such as the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and International Cooperation, Ministry of Justice and Constitutional Affairs and all other ministries which have “and” in their names will be separated like Ministry of Foreign Affairs, Ministry of International Cooperation, Ministry of Justice and Ministry of Constitutional Affairs so that they are given the newly created ministries.

Fourthly, as addicted to junkets as our leaders, how much money goes wasted a year as five Vice Presidents and Ministers travel overseas for nothing other than enjoyment? And the biggest dismay is that, one Vice President is accompanied by over 30 hungry officials, and that of a minister is not exceptional either.
Fifthly, because our leaders request thousands of dollars only for the treatment of typhoid fever or malaria in countries such as Egypt, Sudan, Kenya etc, how much money goes wasted for treatment a year? It is not bad to go for treatment, but two things are annoying here; the disease is not there and the money requested for its treatment is too much. This may be the reason why South Sudan’s typhoid kills more than Uganda’s, Kenya’s, Tanzania’s, among others.

Sixthly, because salary has been nicknamed as operational funds, how much money is allocated for the office of each Vice President and Minister per month? Not only that, as long as the hands of Vice Presidents and Ministers to reach salary before it reaches other civil servants, how much money gets consumed by spoons until that time when they say salary is out?
Seventhly, if the army coming from the bush is almost equivalent to SSPDF, how much money goes to the unified army as the salary and other things in need of money? And the tragedy is not yet complete as many soldiers are still in the bush.
Eighthly, if one Member of Parliament earns 800,000 SSP a month, how much money can 550 Members of Parliament earn all together? 440,000,000 SSP. An amount which they can’t even pronounce! Anyway, I’m sorry!

When the citizens confronted Mr. Development after two years of disappearance, he became frustrated and directed them to ask RT-GoNU. He went further saying, the RT-GoNU is more concerned with what goes into its pockets than what goes to the citizens. The citizens became astonished at the replies of Mr. Development and promised to meet the RT-GoNU in 2024 during elections.
What else can President Salva Kiir Mayardit do for peace to prevail? He must accept signing a brand-new unique agreement for the sake of peace, and that, the tragedy of the compromise must be accepted. Maybe elections will rescue me, Mr. Development concluded.

The author is a medical student, University of Juba. He can be reached at malengaroldit@gmail.com or +211922332811.